hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
