he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
