You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
