Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
someone threw a dead crab at me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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