you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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