Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
