dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
