There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize