got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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