Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
no, he came in my armpit
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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