My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
