either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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