she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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