This is not my ceiling
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
