For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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