He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
