Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize