Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
