So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
