I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
