i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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