loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
