Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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