oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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