Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
