It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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