i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
