I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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