Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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