does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want a musical about memes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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