While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
