The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
