Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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