There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
