I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
