Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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