I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
