Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
