Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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