In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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