We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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