That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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