Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize