somebody snuck up and got me drunk
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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