I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
