watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
