i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
