I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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