doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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