I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
