Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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