Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hippo gnu deer
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize