I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize