im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
