well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
