Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
we should paint friendship bongs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
