I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
