i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
