I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
