it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
FUCK WHALES
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
