he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
