Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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