I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize